Scarlet

These photos could not quite capture the loveliness of this salwar kameez, which was a present from Lisa Aunty (you may remember her from my wedding posts as my make-up artist). It's long and flowing and very feminine... I could live in outfits like these!

This necklace was a wedding gift from my father's friend. It says 'Raja,' my father's name, and is a really wonderful way to remember him - I haven't taken the necklace off since I got it a few days ago.

Happy weekend! 

 

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Lehenga Sari

I think saris are extremely elegant and beautiful, and if I were any good at putting them on, I would wear one every day. Even if you're an expert at pleating and wrapping the sari, it's difficult to get it at the perfect length and to wrap the pallo in a pretty way. Though I've been wearing saris since childhood, I still find it extremely difficult to put them on all by myself: the "lehenga sari" was invented for sari-strugglers like myself. With this type of garment, you get to skip the pleating and just wrap the sari around your body. Would you believe I still had difficulty putting this on, even though it was a cheat sari? I guess I just need more practise!

And this is what my better half wore for the occasion (my cousin's civil wedding):

 

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Grecian

I saw this dress in Topshop over the summer and just had to snap it up. Unfortunately, I had to wait several months to wear it because the wispy-thin fabric doesn't really lend itself to cooler temperatures! This weekend, I finally got a chance to wear it out for dinner, and it's already a firm favorite in my closet. The swish of the skirt and the long length made me feel very Grecian! 

And of course, it's a dress that lends itself to endless twirling and dancing ;)

Accessories and nails

This weekend, we bought parakeets/budgies! Ritesh and I were wandering through a local market and found these gorgeous yellow birds, so we decided we had to bring them home. They make beautiful sounds and kiss each other all day!

 

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Faux Fur & Fuchsia

This morning, I am really, really happy. Overjoyed, actually! Want to know why?

Because I'm skipping town! I'm ditching freezing, foggy, windy Delhi (yes, it got cold again), hopping onto a plane and heading somewhere warm and sunny.

Personally, I believe the only antidote to winter is to get as far away from it as physically possible. And don't come back till the sun's out again! 

This isn't always possible, but I like to dream ;)

As for the outfit, it's just something simple I threw on to do some shopping and eating with hubby. I always think a little injection of faux fur livens up an otherwise plain ensemble, don't you agree? 

Wearing ASOS cardigan, Mango jeans and ASOS boots

Right, I'm off to haul my suitcases and head to the airport. Speak to you when I get there! xo

 

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Emerald & Privacy in the Blogosphere

Sometimes, unexpected items can really surprise you. I threw on this dress to get a haircut and run errands with my husband, and right before leaving the house, he insisted on taking pictures. I wasn't even planning on taking outfit shots because I've never thought much of this dress - I bought it 5-6 years ago and have only worn it a couple of times. It turns out that this emerald color must suit me or something, because Ritesh was telling me all day long how good I looked... maybe it's time to invest in more jewel tones ;)

Wearing French Connection dress, Ferragamo bag, Motel coat

Here I am with the love of my life. Swoon!

Privacy in the Blogosphere

Bloggers tend to share a huge chunk of our lives online. Since we usually read other blogs and get to know (and often meet) other bloggers, some of us start feeling safe. We think: we're all friends here, why can't I share the intimate details of my personal life with people with whom I've been communicating for so long? Where we live, what we wear, what we cook, where we work, our problems, our travels... all become public knowledge.

And for the most part, if you are careful, it's okay. The bloggers that we interact with - many of whom we have started to consider our friends - won't harm us. But in this safe, warm, happy cocoon we may start to forget that there are people who 'lurk' on our blogs - they don't leave comments, they don't interact with us, and we have no idea who they are apart from an IP address and a city location from our page view tracker.

Consider this: I did a quick calculation based on comments and page views, and it turned out that my 'known' audience - i.e. those who comment on my blog - makes up only 2% of my total blog visitors - i.e. those who read and view my blog. Isn't that scary? There are hundreds - maybe even thousands, depending on your blog's popularity - of people reading about you. Do you really want them to know the intimate details of your life?

I started Sunday Musings as a way to interact with my fellow bloggers - to put a personality behind the pictures that I post, and to share a tiny bit of my personal life with you. I've been careful - though it may seem as though I'm an open book, there's very, very little about my life that I post on the internet - but I've still opened up in many ways and shared pieces of myself with hundreds of strangers. And sadly, I've suffered a backlash: people start assuming that they know you, and feel that it is appropriate to comment on parts of your life that you have never talked about.

So this post is to remind all of you to remember that there are still people who you don't know who are reading your blog - all you have to do is check your statistics to be reminded of this. Don't be lulled by the warmth of fellow bloggers who interact with you - you know nothing about your other readers, so make sure you think twice about what you post! 

I've enjoyed sharing personal posts with those of you who I know, but I think I'm going to have to cut back on writing about my life and go back to just posting pictures with minimal commentary. It's the only way to assure privacy from people who I don't want stalking me and writing about me on forums and websites. 

 

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Lohri

As I mentioned on Friday, I attended my very first Lohri celebration! They say that after Lohri, the weather begins to warm up, and the very next day it felt like the temperatures soared. I'm definitely not complaining - I love warmth and sunshine!

Here are some pictures of the outfit I wore. Since it was my first Lohri as a newlywed, my mother-in-law thought it would be nice if I wore something traditional, so I put on this salwar kameez that she gave me as part of my wedding gift (with several layers underneath because it was a chilly night!).

Yes, I attended the celebration even though my cold was in full swing - watery eyes, blocked nose
and a handbag stuffed with tissues! Ha

I didn't know anything about Lohri a few days ago, but I did a little bit of research and found out that it's a harvest festival that celebrates the end of winter and the coming of a new agricultural season for the farmers. The festival has also come to be associated with a man called Dulla Bhatti, who lived during Emperor Akbar's time, who stole from the rich and gave to the poor (I'm not sure why any thief should be held in high esteem, regardless of who he's stealing from, but I guess that's just me), and also saved Hindu girls from being sold as slaves to the Arab world. Many of the songs sung during this time are in praise of Dulla Bhatti. 

As for the actual celebration, it begins with a bonfire, lit at sunset. Below you can see Ritesh helping to build up the fire.

Peanuts, popcorn, and a sweet called revri made of sesame seeds and sugar are tossed into the fire. Below you can see me with holding a tray containing all of these. (I've blurred my nephew's face because I'm not sure if his mum would want it shown here!)

A couple of drummers also paid us a visit, which made everyone get up and dance around the fire! It was such fun. We warmed ourselves by the heat of the blaze, ate the popcorn, peanuts, and revri as well as gajjak (a sweet made from peanuts and sugar) and potatoes that we roasted in the fire. It was such a lovely experience! 

 

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P.S. For those of who you visit my blog and decide to pass judgment about who I am and what I believe in: it is none of your business what religion I do or do not follow. And for those of you who have made assumptions about it already, I just want you to know that you are wrong. I have never, and WILL never share personal things such as the religious beliefs of myself, my husband or my family, and you really don't have the right to ask or comment on such things. 

Sunday Musings: Life Update

Since my last Sunday Musings post, I've gotten married and moved to India, moved into my very first rented apartment, bought my first car and piano, and am now charged with the following responsibilities:

- Running a household in India (quite different from doing the same elsewhere!)
- Decorating our flat (which I don't have any experience with)
- Dealing with living in a completely new place
- Adjusting to living with my husband

I thought that since there have been so many life changes lately, I should write a little update on what I've been up to and how I've been coping! I have to say that living with my husband has been the easiest, most seamless change I've ever made, even though I've never before lived with anyone except family. It's absolutely wonderful spending your days with someone you love so much, and I'm really going to try to stop gushing now because I'm sure you're all fed up of this! ;) The only adjustment I've made in terms of living with him is a serious cut-down on computer/technology time (I actually wrote this post over a month ago, but never got the chance to publish it because I've stopped turning on my computer over the weekend).

On Life in India
Living in India scared me a bit at first, but now I'm getting used to it and absolutely love the juxtaposition between east and west that exists here, especially in Delhi. You can spend your days weaving through street markets, eating roadside food, and enjoying the rustic 'real' side of India, but you can also go shopping in malls, find your favorite international brands, eat worldwide cuisine, and feel connected to the rest of the world (all of the latter was almost impossible in Dhaka, where I grew up). Oh, and India is paradise for vegetarians - you never have to worry if there's fish sauce in your pad thai or chicken stock in your soup because they never, ever make those mistakes here! There are a few things I still haven't sorted out - running my household, for one, is particularly difficult - but I suppose it takes time to adjust to any big change.

On Decorating
I've always lived in places decorated by my mother, who has an uncanny eye for beauty and style (even if I do say so myself!). I don't think I've inherited this gene, but I'm trying my best to make our apartment feel more like a home. Our bedroom feels cosiest at the moment, now that I've bought pretty white sheets and small accessories, but there's still a lot of work to be done in the rest of the place (and we're unhappy with certain conditions, so we might even switch apartments if we find a better one!).

On Being a Married Woman
Of course this a deeply dense and complicated subject, and it means something different for everyone, but I never realised how different I would be treated and what a different position I would be put in once I got married. For example, people have started calling me bhabhi, which means sister-in-law, instead of didi (which means sister and is usually used to address younger, unmarried women) or just using my first name.

I haven't officially changed my name, but I'm trying to get used to using his surname, and I have to say it's quite a big adjustment! I'm so used to my identity being tied to my name, and while I love the idea of using your husband's name as your own, I still don't feel comfortable with having a completely different identity.

On Being an Expat
All my life, I've felt like an expat. Those of you who have been reading my blog for a while know that I'm not at all nationalistic about any country - I don't feel I'm from any particular place. I've always been treated like an expat, too - in Bangladesh, because I don't have ethnic Bengali looks or genes, locals have always assumed that I'm from India or Pakistan. In London, even though it's incredibly multicultural and I look as though I could easily fit in, everyone who heard me speak instantly assumed that I was American (despite my insisting that I don't have an American accent!). However, having grown up in Bangladesh I felt completely at home there - I can speak the language (not very well, but enough to get by!) and I feel safe and comfortable there. I've been going to London all my life and lived there for four years, so that feels like home, too.

Strangely, I've been having a completely different experience in India. Even though I've visited India several times, and my paternal grandparents are Indian, I've never felt any connection with the country. It still feels foreign to me in so many ways - but the most crazy thing is that because I look like an Indian and manage to communicate in Hindi, I'm treated like a local rather than an expat! It's something I've never experienced before and, while it's nice to be treated as one of their own, it also means that I have no excuse for my poor speaking skills or for breaking some sort of moral code (which I've unknowingly done a few times!).

Anyway, those are my initial thoughts on post-married life... to wrap it up, moving to a new place is really, really tough, but it's all worth it when you get to spend time with someone you love so much!

For those of you who have been through a similar experience, I would love to hear your thoughts - I wonder if you've been through the same things?

 

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